The author of today’s letter has chosen to remain anonymous, for reasons I think will become obvious as you read it. This project exists to give voice to this man and others who have been closeted and silenced. If you are an LGBTQ person or ally who has something to share with the General Synod of 2016, your letter can be shared by name, first name only, or anonymously, by sending it to firstname.lastname@example.org.
Dear General Synod 2016,
I admit I don’t know a whole lot about all that happened at General Synod. I admit I don’t know a whole lot about how all that church stuff works. But I know enough that some things happened at General Synod that I don’t like.
I’m an early-30s something man, married to my wife for over five years, with a beautiful kid.
I’m also in the closet. I’m gay.
I hesitated to even write as much as I did, because I am terrified people will find out. You see, I belong to the Harbor Churches in West Michigan. A few years ago, we had a pastor at one of our campuses. Seemed like a good guy. My family didn’t go to the campus he was at. But later I heard he and his wife got a divorce. I found out even later it was because he was gay.
He lost his job, his family, his friends, and had people talk about him behind his back. I’m terrified I will lose it all too. I hear the jokes in my men’s group. I laugh along. I think I’m good. I don’t think anyone suspects. But what if they did?
General Synod, I’ve done everything I was supposed to do. I went to a Christian college. Married a good woman. We had a child. I’ve been a member of the Reformed Church since I was a kid myself. And I’ve prayed as hard as I can to be straight. I thought that if I just worked and acted like I’m supposed to, it’d just go away. But it hasn’t.
I don’t know if I’ll ever work up the courage like our pastor. He tries to stay positive, but I know it’s hard. West Michigan isn’t a very friendly place to be gay. And you voting to say LGBTQ people aren’t welcome really, really hurts. All I’m saying is, you don’t know who you’re hurting when you say those things.
A scared, closeted, gay father, and member of the RCA.